Another Saturday with hours of sermon prep ahead...and I feel much worse than I usually do on Saturday. It was a very rough week at work...the saying good-bye to people I have come to love over these 3 years...but, on a deeper level, the loss of the work that we did there. In-patient hospice care is greatly needed, and yet, Medicare and the powers that be don't want to cover it...turns out that according to Medicare, being "actively dying" is not a reason to be in a in-patient unit!!! Assholes! Of course, in the case of the particular hospice I worked for, there were also many layers of corporate bs and mis-management that led to this place. Argggh!
And then there's me...I have not coped particularly well this week...eating junk and using other unhealthy ways to deal with the stress...great...when will I ever learn??? Right now, I think maybe never. It's probably a good thing that no one actually reads this blog...how depressing...and I really don't like to be someone who whines about their life...and yet, here I am, whining...I am sooooo tired. I really need a break, but know that it is not going to happen, so I really need to figure out how to have balance in the midst of working in very stressful situations without ever having a day off. And being gone from home and on the road 12 hours a day...right now I am one of those people who is living a life of "quiet desparation"...God help me, please.