The big question about my job has been taken out of my hands, so to speak...the place that is my full-time job is closing...and my spouse has still not found a job. So, we join the ranks of so many un-employed. Well, I still have my part-time job, but that pays very little and has no benefits. Hmmm. I still trust God and love God and know that there is a way this will all work out...just don't know how right now.

I saw something this afternoon that lifted my spirits...I was on my commute home from work...(same drive I do every day twice a day) and a dog crossed the road in front of me, and right behind her was her puppy. Of course, the puppy got scared and froze, and since there was a car coming the other way, I thought, OMG the puppy is going to get hit. (this is a southern, rural area...two lane country roads...mostly people don't stop for animals...other than me, and I stop for everything and even get out of the car and move turtles to safety)...anyway, the car coming the other way stops suddenly...doesn't even pull off the road, and a woman jumps out and rescues the puppy. I couldn't stop to see what else happened, or to thank her for what she did, cuz the pick-up behind me was impatient, but I said a prayer of thanksgiving for that woman. It did my heart such good to witness somone else caring about the "4-legged least of these"...thanks be to God.

Here I am, blogging 2 days in a row! Maybe I will get more consistent about this...or not. I still don't know how to do all those cool things like posting photos etc...maybe someday. Today's sermon was good...not as good, to me, as the last 2 Sundays, but good. The HS showed up and once again took my tired, feeble efforts and made something good of them. Lunch at the tea room with Dad and Southern Belle, and then a somewhat restful afternoon. Worked for awhile on next week's sermon/worship service and other church stuff, and then tomorrow, back at it at the hospice. I am praying for God's guidance about a job...I think the change is coming sooner rather than later...just which change is the right one? Hopefully, one that pays better and is closer to home. :-) Well, off to watch my current "guilty pleasure" True Blood. I know, I know...it's bad, but oh so fun.

Another Saturday...another sermon. What a strange, mixed blessing this call to preach is...I always want to quit on Saturday and then Sunday comes, the Holy Spirit shows up(thanks be) and it all seems right and good. But then, invariably, by about Wed., I am back to not being able to even imagine myself as a minister/preacher...who is that woman who gets up on Sunday and leads worship and preaches???? Certainly, not me! Ah well...today I am determined to be done with all this early enough to have a relaxing evening with my husband. I recognize that part of why I am usually still working at midnight on Saturday is because I am, on some level, still resisting this job, and am procrastinating about putting words on the page because, of course, nothing I write will be good enough...even though that goes against everything I believe about God, Grace, and how I am able to do anything even remotely good. It is only through Christ that I do anything...so why do I play these crazy games with myself???

On a humorous note, this past week I had the spouses of two of my hospice patients (I did their funerals) come to see me and ask me to do their funerals "when the time comes". Of course, I said I would be honored, and I would, it is a sacred honor. Here's the funny part, though, the one woman said "I want you to do my funeral, so I will look you up when I'm gone." "Gosh", I thought to myself, "I hope not cuz that would scare the crap out of me!"
Well, time to get back to sermonating.

A bit of unexpected grace last evening...because of a friends generosity, I got to see the movie "Julie and Julia"...I can't remember the last time I saw a movie in a movie theatre, but I know it has been over 2 years. First observation, as I waited for my friend and co-workers to get to the theatre, was: "Oh, is this what people do on Friday night?" It was a bit surreal, in a way, watching folks many of whom looked like they were ending up their work-week and beginning their week-end, smiling and laughing and being together. My life is so solitary in so many ways...oh, I am with people most of the time, but in the role of chaplain, pastor, preacher etc. Let me say here, I am NOT saying "oh, poor me". I am very grateful for the work God has given me to do...I'm just tired right now and knowing that I have to find a way to have a bit of balance in my life.
So, the movie was great fun! There was lots of laughter and good food and romance, and well, yes, sex...but not explicitly shown...not at all, but the passion that Julia and Julie shared both for food and for their husbands was wonderfully conveyed. And, of course, Meryl Streep did a great job...actually, all the main characters were well acted. The movie got me to thinking about many things, (like food and sex) one of which was blogging. I am still very inconsistent with blogging...for many reasons...lack of time and brain energy high on the list, but also, the whole idea of why write a blog...I have not told anyone I even have a blog, so no one reads this...but would I even want people I know to read it...probably not...or at least I would be very uncomfortable with it, I think. Then there is the whole "me" thing...all about me...me,me,me...this was brought out in the movie at one point, as well...how blogging can maybe become somewhat narcissistic(probably not spelled right)...so...
Anyway, speaking of husbands and food, my sweetie has made us a brunch of whole grain pancakes with fresh blueberries, so I am going to enjoy!